Hmmmm

I don't have a paying gig, but I started volunteering at the Salvation Army. The do a lunch program three days a week. It's a small program, but I'm with some people who really need the help. I could put in a lot of time there if I let myself.

I have two Sundays filled next month preaching in Niles and LaPorte, so that's something. I don't have a solid lead on anything long term or solid in the clergy field. That's sort of a bummer, but there's just not too much in the area.

I did talk to the next door neighbor who works at the social service agency in near-by Benton Harbor where I had applied. He seem to think that he could get my application on the fast track, but we'll see. He did, however, seem positive about me opportunities in the area doing social work.

All of this causes me to question what God wants of me. I would really like to do that which God wants me. I don't know if I'm being impatient or what, but it seems like the better opportunities that God is making available are not in the clergy. I don't want to drive an hour and a half just to do stated supply. Even Michigan City is an hour! South Bend might be OK, but they aren't in the system yet and when they are who knows how long that process would take.

There is an attraction to being unemployed. I've felt this before. It's easy to let things slide and to get caught up in minutia while neglecting important stuff. My prayer life began suffering in Wheeling, but I notice that it's not getting better and I need to focus on that. I'm out of a routine and need some sort of stability to practice those spiritual disciplines. It's weird. I feel like God and I are just nodding acquaintances lately. I would like to go to a good worship, but I don't know where that would be and I don't feel like I can do that without hurting Fran and relationships with the new church.

I don't know where God is in all this. Hmm, interesting that I never question God's presence. What does that say? I think I also believe that God has some intent or master plan for all of this and I work to define my role in it. I think I have a lot of options, all of which are God's will, but some of those options are a little closer to what God would have me do. I don't know what and it seems like I'm rambling for the last two paragraphs.