Independence Day

"[Be] daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burnt in the fire of love, real enough to make others see how phony [you] are."
- Brennan Manning

I found at camp last week that the laptop I was using was outdated tech. It took forever to boot and had troubles running multiple programs. All that aside, I am in the process of setting up a new computer for the rest of my time and thought that this would be a good time to blog. I especially thought that when I read the above Manning quote as part of my meditations.

It occurs to me that life is such a battle with fear and appearances. I struggle that I'm going to be found out because I know, deep down inside, what a fallen and sinful man I am. I know that so many times I fumble through life and just simply operate by intuition, not really knowing. I suppose it was the last line of the quote that struck me.

When the fiction of who I am dominates how I live out my life I end up short-changing everyone, you, me and God. I so want to be more than I am. I so want you to see me as more than I am. I so want the fiction to be true that I spend more time working on the facade than I do improving the reality. Putting aside the fiction, living the reality of who I am requires real courage.

That courage is the standard to which people are called. It doesn't matter what faith you hold or anything like that. I know it's some sort of philosophic maxim, "to thine own self be true", but that's what it's all about. Having the courage to be true to yourself. Only when we find that courage and respect ourselves enough to be true to ourselves can we know happiness. Only when we are willing to see ourselves as we truly are, not how we want to be seen, but as we are, can we begin to know happiness.