This is the last week that I'm going to be at camp and after four weeks I feel like I'm getting the hang of things. Geneva Center is truly a wonderful, pastoral place. This is really a good "gig" and I'm going to miss being here, but I forget that the camp part of GC is only a small portion of the full mission and ministry of this place. I hope somehow to be a part of that larger vision, but that remains to be seen.
I know I've written about my frustrations in seeking a call, which was the impetus for this blog so many months ago. So, here I am; poised at the start of a new thing and entering into a new call in just a few days. But I'm scared. This is a new thing I'm doing and I worry I'm not up to it or able and I wonder what God has me doing in this spot. I forget that it's not me. I forget why I'm doing this and who's on my side. This is my besetting sin-the sin of self. My concerns are about me and my life and my feelings/desires. It's my plan that matters.
I wonder if it's not human nature to forget that God is the motive and motivation in the matter. The pull of the world and the world's ways are so strong that I work every day to cast off those chains and live for my God. It is so hard to faithfully abide in God, trusting that God will care for me and knows best. I pray that the work of my hands today might be a fragrant offering to the God who gave me life today.
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